I’ve always struggled with my faith. After growing up in a household with parents on opposite ends of the religious spectrum, I went to a Lutheran college – further muddling my faith identity. A journey through India was just the icing on the messed up confusion-cake that is my belief system.
Lately, I feel like I’ve been failing my way through adulthood. Career dissatisfaction and loneliness replaced my awesome college experience. If there was ever a time for religion, this is it, right?
So in my depression, have I turned to God? Or a different idol – Allah, Vishnu…Zeus? Of course not.
Instead, I have turned to Tom Wolfe and Weeds to help me through my trials and tribulations, and I can’t help but wonder what that means about me as a person.
Tom Wolfe’s writing holds a similar allure as religious texts. I find inspiration in the freedom of the Merry Pranksters in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. I learn lessons from their mishaps. And there are certain passages I read whenever I need motivation.
Weeds, my other favorite diversion, definitely isn’t inspiring any superior morality, but it stands as a reminder of my past. Not because I was a single-parent drug trafficker, but because I first watched the show with special people in my life. Those memories are totally uplifting and have helped me work through the past few months.
I know that my dependence on Tom Wolfe and Nancy Botwin probably offends people who have deep faith in an establish religion, but for now, this is my solution. And until I can get my life together and perhaps get a real grasp on my faith, I’m going to keep relying on my substitutes.
jennifer lockwood 